Things I've Written - Jason Stuart

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I WANT TO GO TO GEORGE CLOONEY’S HOUSE TOO

By JASON STUART

May 14, 2012

Huffington Post

I don’t have an extra $40,000 to go to George Clooney’s party in Studio city and support Barrack Obama for President. I wish I could. I worked with George 20 years ago on Sunset Beat, a TV series the media calls the worst show he ever did. Every time he gets nominated for an Oscar, the news outlets play the scene where he tries to pronounce the word “amphetamine” to the character I am playing. You only see the back of my head nodding. To me, that was a metaphor on how it was to be an openly gay actor in Hollywood back then. I could be in the game, but I was not allowed to really be seen when it counted. 20 years later, you get to see me every once in a while on TV playing some character who is in charge of something, like a hotel manager or a chef, but that character has no real power. I want show my face alongside the rest of my (straight) peers.

I have never given money to the Democratic Party, even though I am a Democrat. When the phone solicitors call me, I always thank them for doing their work and politely state that I will not give money until I, a gay man, am treated as an equal. Well, that time has come. Next time they call, I will give my donation proudly.

As I walk on the treadmill trying to shed the same 10 lbs I’ve been trying to shed for the last decade, I watch clip of Obama in support of gay marriage on The Rachel Maddow Show, but flip back and forth during commercials to watch Jessica Sanchez singing “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going” on American Idol. I start to cry. We are not going away as gay Americans. We are here to stay and we are getting married, having children, and even getting divorced – just like you. I watch the TV with sweat and tears pouring down my face: for the first time, a sitting president of the United States believes that gay people should have the same rights as straight people. That people like me should be allowed to get married in the good old USA.

In the next segment on Rachel’s show, Cory Booker, the mayor of New Jersey (the state that created Jersey Shore…well you can’t have everything) says this fight by the Republicans to keep us as 2^rd class citizens is “ridiculous and offensive”, and “enough was enough”. Wow. His words gave me the courage to write this piece.

When I first met my 31 year old straight agent Ryan Hayden, I told him I was openly gay but I wanted to play both gay & straight roles. I asked if he was cool with that. He looked at me as if I had two heads and said, “Who cares? I wanted to represent you because of your body of work, not your sexual preference.” His generation sees things so differently. I was moved, and he has given me confidence to go after my dreams in a bigger way.

We are appalled at so many prejudices, but for most of the country, it is still acceptable to discriminate against gays. My Dad, a survivor of the Holocaust who passed away recently, was the vice president of a necktie manufacturing company. His factory was like the United Nations, where immigrants from all over the world were given opportunities, jobs and support. Dad told me to wear a tie and people will take me seriously, and if I worked hard I would be a success. Little did I know how challenging it would be for me gay man to move to the next level in my career.

But now, for the generations of gay men and women born after me, perhaps it won’t. Thank you, Mr. President. I hope to be at your next LA fundraiser.

When Opportunity Meets Talent

View the full article

When opportunity meets talent, we can soar. This is what the SAG LGBT Committee is all about. Our committee’s mission is to equal the playing field for openly gay actors by giving them opportunities to be considered for all sorts of roles, not simply ones defined by their gender or sexual preference. I created it 6 years ago as a support system for my fellow actors, because I cannot tell you how many times I have been told that I am not right to play this or that kind of role.

I have had 35 years of people telling me the limits of casting me because I am gay, when really the limits are in their own vision.

I recently went to a movie screening of Pariah, the story of a young black women coming out to her family as a lesbian. Kim Wayans gives a wonderfully deep performance as the mother of a young girl coming out as a lesbian, who uses religion to justify her prejudice against gays. She is getting terrific reviews, and although people are surprised, it is not a surprise to me at all that she is wonderful in this role. When we first met on the set of My Wife and Kids, I noticed what class and style she had — so different from many of the characters she did in her comedy. Although she is known for playing sketch characters on the iconic TV series In Living Color, and was laugh out loud funny on the show, she is talented enough to play dramatics parts too, when given the chance, as she has shown with Pariah. Kim was quick to give a supportive remark when I was shooting my scenes, and I am here to do the same for her.

Decades ago, I went to the Beverly Center cineplex to see the movie Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean. It starred Cher. Because Cher was then a very big variety TV performer and Vegas regular, I figured that as an actress she would give a camp version of her TV persona and that I’d have a good laugh. But when Cher’s character Sissy said, “Juanita, I just wanted to get me some orange crush… it’s so hot out there”, I was entranced. She began to use a napkin to dry her underarms and I thought to myself, I will never prejudge another actor on his or her abilities. The Cher I thought I knew disappeared for those 90 minutes. Her career broadened after that, as people saw her as a bona fide actress. But they never would have known had not Robert Altman been willing to open his mind and look beyond her singing-diva-wearing-outrageous-outfits persona.

Earlier this year, I was filmed the prison drama K11 about gay people in the Los Angeles prison system. The part of the mean laundry trustee was offered to me by the casting director who gave me my very first professional interview, Pam Dixon. As I read the script, I assumed that my character was gay, since that is what is usually offered to me. Pam told me that it was a straight character, and that he was actually homophobic! I got a bit choked up as I thanked her for giving me the chance to play other types of characters.

Don’t keep people in boxes. Let them soar.

Support Our Gay Youth… So They Won’t Feel Alone Like Me

March, 2011

By JASON STUART,
The Huffington Post

I was the first openly gay comedian to headline mainstream comedy clubs and had a lot of success in the 90s touring around the good old USA. I worked in comedy clubs around the country for over twenty years. Five years ago I was booked at Zanies Comedy Club in Chicago; what we call an “A” rooms in the comedy biz. It was November and only a frigid three degrees below zero. It was a disaster. The comedy club forgot to pick me up at the airport. When they finally picked me up they took me to the wrong hotel. Two of the three radio appearances were canceled because Clear Channel decided it did not want guests; they wanted to play music that they had deals with at big Fortune 500 companies. My PR at the local gay bar was a nightmare and the music was so loud people did not know what the hell I was doing there! It snowed so much, and it was so cold that people were not going out anywhere let alone to a comedy club. So, I spent the week in my hotel crying and wondering what I was doing with my life.

I needed to change my life’s direction. I decided I wanted to act more; which was really my passion. Stand-Up had become no longer fun to perform. It was like my day job, at night. I had a fan send an email saying he wanted to get into stand up. I asked, “Who do you wanna make laugh? He said “everybody”. I replied “Have you met everybody, I have” I also wanted to do more big-ticket gay events, college gigs and theatre gigs so I’d be home more to find Mr. Right. Well, I got my passion back for stand up and have been cast in over forty film & TV shows in the last few years. I also got to perform comedy at some of the best gay events in the country and doubled that in the coming years!

Soon after I got a got a call from Michael Ferrera, who created a group called Lifeworks, that mentors gay youth and they wanted me to perform at their’ comedy benefit. I asked, “What was the venue?” They didn’t have one “Well, who were the other comics?” He told me they did not have any. This was how I become the Event Chair. I called my home based-comedy club I worked at in Hollywood, The Laugh Factory (where we used to do the event) and all my friends, who happened to be the top openly gay comedians in the country, right away. Our first show was a big fat success!

In Los Angeles, it is not easy to do a charity event; especially when you are a gay man. Most of the guys want to see Margret Cho, Kathy Griffin, drag queens and the women only seem to support each other at their own events. I wanted to do comedy events for all of us gay, lesbian bisexual, and transgender people; and our allies. I also invited all my famous actor, singers and reality star friends to come and show up to pose for some pictures, sign some autographs and hang out. Since we created this meet & greet VIP reception it has become a staple in our annual benefit. The celebrities included were: Chad Allen (Dr. Quinn), Allison Arngrim (Little House on The Prairie), Chaz Bono (Becoming Chaz), Jim J Bullock (Too Close For Comfort), Francis Fisher (Titanic), Elaine Hendrix (Parent Trap), Geri Jewell (Facts Of Life), Jane Lynch (Glee), Alexandra Paul (Baywatch), Jack Plotnick (Girls Will Be Girls), Jason Simmons (Baywatch), and Doug Spearman (Noah’s Arc), to name a few.

In the last five years our cast of comedians has been like a “who’s who?” in gay comedy including: Ant, Michele Balan, Gloria Bigelow, Poppy Champlin, Erin Foley, Mo Gaffeny, Julie Goldman, Ian Harvie, Andre Kelly, Carol Leifer, Wendy Liebman, Alec Mapa , Rick Overton, Coco Peru, Hal Sparks, Amy Stiller, Judy Tenuta, Scott Thompson, Tony Tripoli, Sandra Valls, Bruce Vilanch, Suzanne Westenhoefer and me! It was so thrilling to share all my friends’ talent with our community. I have so grateful to them for giving there talent to us for free of charge.

This organization gave me a sense of community and place to give back. Lifeworks mentors kids between the ages of twelve to twenty-four. When I was that age, I was floating in the wind. Not knowing how or where I was going to get what I wanted and needed. I did not have a mentor or anyone to show me the way. I wasted a lot of time trying to figure out how to live as an openly gay man. Lifework does that for our youth. It gives them a place to go and be with kids their own age to create a sense of belonging, a community.

If I had this kind of support as a youth I would of saved so much time. I might not have had to go to the suicide prevention center and tell a woman I never met that I wanted to die because I was gay. I would have felt like I had place to go and meet with people like me going through the same things at the same time as I was. I would of not been so alone.

A few years back we moved into the Gay & Lesbian Center and this year we will be performing at our show at the Renberg Theatre at The Village. We have grown and we will be doing two shows this time at 5pm & 8pm with a VIP reception at 6:30pm with food & drinks on Sunday, March 20th, 2011.

I’m still looking for Mr. Right but I did get a great new friend out of it .Michael Ferrera.

For tickets go to or call 323.860.7373

http://www.laglc.org/lol

I WAS THAT KID

Oct 19, 2010
By JASON STUART,
The Huffington Post

I could have been Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Tyler Clementi or any of the other teens that recently ended their young, precious lives. I grew up in the 1970s when being gay was still considered to be a mental illness by some. I would go to sleep hoping not to wake up, simply because I liked men. While much has changed over the last 30 years, feelings of isolation remain, much of it brought on by peers.

Like those boys and so many others, I was bullied in school. I guess my locker had some pheromone that attracted people that hated people that were somewhat different, because in the first week of 7th grade a kid scraped the word “fag” on my locker with something sharp like a pocket knife or a nail. Even though I could only see that word when I fumbled with the combination, the sadness and loneliness that the word made me feel lingered in the back of my mind every day of those horrific three years, a feeling that continued until I finally came out publicly on television in 1993. This one act and other daily forms of abuse by my classmates changed my life and my ability to learn and participate in friendships and relationships. The fear that I had because I was different was so strong it convinced me not to attend college; I was not prepared for what the repercussions might be if people knew I was gay.

When I was in my 30s and starting to act, I was completely guarded with my secret, convinced I had to suppress it and pretend it was non-existent. It was so detrimental to me that I only wanted to be with other “professional” actors, where I felt safe. Where I knew that as long as I was in this box of mine, life was going to be safer. “Just DON’T be yourself.” That’s what I believed and in doing so, I missed so many potential experiences and relationships that I will never know what could have been.

I regret not having the experience of going though the same things at the same time as my peers. Folks often say, “You can go to college now.” Of course, it wouldn’t be the same. I often travel to universities to do stand-up or lecture, and I learn so much just being around students, faculty and members of gay-straight alliances. Recently, after a performance, I had a good cry when I was back in my hotel because I had been in the presence of these students who are not afraid of being out and accepting who they are. It impressed me immensely.

When I was 21, I made a call to a suicide prevention lifeline because I realized I needed help. I was starting to have thoughts of suicide and I needed someone to stop me, to save my life. I began seeing a counselor after that, who I knew kept everything confidential, but even with my back to her chair, I sat there and lied that I was bi-sexual, uncomfortable to even speak the truth to a professional. It was too hard and I was afraid for my life.

Career-wise, I wanted to be an actor while some in the industry would say I was “too light in the loafers.” Memories of all these kids who beat me up and humiliated me all through school came back to me repeatedly in my early years of pursuing my career. Being afraid of people and re-learning how to trust them is a daily reminder of where and how far I have come.

Now I am an actor, a comedian and an advocate for equality. I have been able to get past my childhood and work in my chosen profession. I also have been able to give back to my community by being chair of the Screen Actors Guild National LGBT Actors Committee and a mentor for LifeWorks, which supports LGBTQ youth between the ages of 12-24. I have also produced and performed in a comedy benefit for the past five years to raise money for these kids and to show them there is hope out there.

Doing service for others and accepting the support of others has been my way of healing. I have been able to overcome my feelings of not being “enough.” I came to realize that the thoughts in my head are just that and can go out as easily as they entered those many years ago. I can create a new life story by which to live my life. It’s 2010 and I don’t have to be that kid in the 1970s who was abused and suicidal anymore. I often wish I could take that kid by the hand and show him the life I have now and tell him, “It will get better. I’m someone. Someone with a life and someone that matters. Just like you do.”

IF THE STRAIGHTJACKET FITS

June 2010
By JASON STUART,

Frontiers In L.A.

Much has been said and written about the recent Newsweek article “Straight Jacket: Heterosexual actors play gay all the time. Why doesn’t it ever work in reverse?” Contributor Ramin Setoodeh contends that audiences do not accept openly gay actors playing straight roles, such as Sean Hayes in Promises, Promises and Glee’s Jonathan Groff, while offering no proof to support this claim other than his own discomfort.

You may agree or disagree with Setoodeh’s assessment of a performance (clearly Tony voters disagreed), but he moves beyond that assessment to blame the sexual orientation of the actor in making the roles unbelievable. The writer postulates that out actors make unconvincing heterosexuals, an empirically unsupportable idea due to the subjective nature of audience responses. But Setoodeh, an out gay man himself, makes it very clear where he falls on the matter.

To bolster his case, he dismisses straight roles played by Neil Patrick Harris and Portia de Rossi as “broad” (so he won’t count them), and conveniently overlooks Sean Hayes’ perfectly believable turn as Jerry Lewis, Emmy-winner Cherry Jones, Academy Award-nominee Ian McKellen, Lily Tomlin on Damages, T.R. Knight on Grey’s Anatomy, Dan Butler on Frasier and Jane Lynch as Meryl Streep’s straight sister in Julie & Julia, among others.

As an out professional actor and chair of the Screen Actors Guild National LGBT Actors Committee, I reject the notion that openly gay actors are restricted in the roles they can play, and I am proud that so many people, gay and straight, have spoken out about Setoodeh and Newsweek to say the same.

I am a fan of Glee, and feel that Jonathan Groff is perfect for the role he was cast. The fact that Setoodeh can’t accept him may say more about his own discomfort with being gay than it does about Groff, but the author’s mean-spirited jab could potentially be damaging to the actor’s livelihood in the future.

Since the furor erupted over Setoodeh’s article, both he and Newsweek have attempted (with little success) to re-frame the wrongheaded argument as a “dialogue starter” that will help move the needle. And maybe that is proving to be true on some level.

What Setoodeh has unwittingly done is pull the curtain back to reveal those who are gay and self-hating. We are now used to revelations of self-loathing politicians who pass anti-gay laws by day while leading a secret gay life. But Setoodeh’s article has launched a dialogue about certain gays who inhabit the entertainment industryagents, managers, casting directors, publicists and the likewho make it difficult for out actors and may be actively engaging in their oppression.

Glee creator Ryan Murphy, a gay man, has emerged from this debate as a role model for the industry. He wrote that when casting his show, actors “are encouraged to read for all roles, no matter what their sexual orientation, color or gender. Who cares who you are or who you sleep with frankly, it’s none of our business or concern. The actor with the best audition should get the part.”

Murphy gets that it takes talent for any actor to make a character believable, and that actors play roles quite different from themselves, otherwise it wouldn’t be acting.

Our SAG LGBT Actors Committee was formed to provide support to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender actors who work in this business. Our committee will continue to fight to end fear that being open about who you are means the end of your career, but it’s an uphill battle when some of our biggest detractors, like Setoodeh, are members of our own community.

It’s damaging words like his that continue to be used to pressure actors to stay in the closet, and place doubt in those in positions of power about their casting choices. At the end of the day, though, if Setoodeh can’t accept a gay actor in a straight role, then that’s really his problem, isn’t it? And he needs to keep that in the closet.

Actor/Comedian Jason Stuart is chair of the Screen Actors Guild National LGBT Actors Committee. He was most recently seen on The Closer, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, House and his own stand-up special Jason Stuart: Making it to the Middle.

If the Straightjacket Fits

May 21, 2010
By JASON STUART,

Huffington Post

To bolster his case, he dismisses straight roles played by Neil Patrick Harris and Portia de Rossi as “broad” (so he won’t count them), and conveniently overlooks Sean Hayes’ perfectly believable turn as Jerry Lewis, Emmy-winner Cherry Jones, Academy Award-nominee Ian McKellen, Lily Tomlin on Damages, T.R. Knight on Grey’s Anatomy, Dan Butler on Frasier, and Jane Lynch as Meryl Streep’s straight sister in Julie and Julia, among others

What Setoodeh has unwittingly done is pull the curtain back to reveal those who are gay and self-hating. We are now used to revelations of self-loathing politicians who pass anti-gay laws by day while leading a secret gay life. But Setoodeh’s article has launched a dialogue about certain gays who inhabit the entertainment industry — agents, managers, casting directors, publicists and the like — who make it difficult for out actors and may be actively engaging in their oppression.

Glee creator Ryan Murphy, a gay man, has emerged from this debate as a role model for the industry. He wrote that when casting his show, actors “are encouraged to read for all roles, no matter what their sexual orientation, color or gender. Who cares who you are or who you sleep with…frankly, it’s none of our business or concern. The actor with the best audition should get the part.”

Murphy gets that it takes talent for any actor to make a character believable, and that actors play roles quite different from themselves, otherwise it wouldn’t be acting.

Actor/Comedian Jason Stuart is chair of the Screen Actors Guild National LGBT Actors Committee. He was most recently seen on The Closer, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, House, and his own stand up special Jason Stuart: Making it to the Middle.

The Newsweek Debate

May 20, 2010
By Jason Stuart,

Backstage

Many of you have likely heard about the recent Newsweek article “Straight Jacket: Heterosexual actors play gay all the time. Why doesn’t it ever work in reverse?” Contributor Ramin Setoodeh contends that audiences do not accept openly gay actors playing straight roles, such as Sean Hayes in “Promises, Promises” and Jonathan Groff of “Glee,” while offering no proof to support this claim other than his own discomfort.

As an out professional actor and chair of the Screen Actors Guild National LGBT Actors Committee, I am offended by Setoodeh’s attack and proud that our union rejects the notion that openly gay actors are restricted in the roles they can play. I am equally proud that so many people, gay and straight, have spoken out about Setoodeh and Newsweek to say the same.

It has been important for SAG to have a voice in this discussion on behalf of all my fellow brothers and sisters. Our union works tirelessly to advocate diverse hiring of underrepresented groupsincluding minorities, women, and performers with disabilitiesin the entertainment industry. And our union demands that all performers have equal employment opportunities, insisting that qualified individuals are hired regardless of how they may identify. I am an actor; it’s not who I am but what I can play that counts.

The SAG LGBT Actors Committee was created to provide support to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender actors so that they don’t need to feel as if they must hide who they are in order to work in this business. But it is harmful attitudes like those of Setoodeh, an out gay man himselfgiven a national platform by Newsweekthat are used to pressure actors to stay in the closet, and perhaps worse, place doubt in those in positions of power about their casting choices.

Since the furor over the article erupted, a dialogue has evolved about gays who inhabit the entertainment industryagents, managers, casting directors, publicists, and the likewho make it difficult for out actors and, some believe, actively engage in holding them back.

To help break this cycle, our SAG committee and the SAG Affirmative Action & Diversity Department regularly meet with entertainment executives to quell fears of the “big pink elephant in the room,” as Setoodeh so gracefully wrote. The committee annually hosts an Out in Hollywood eventlast year partnering with the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamationwhich brings together out casting directors, producers, and actors to discuss the state of the industry for LGBT actors. We also host a variety of screenings, roundtable discussions and film festival panels in Hollywood and New York to not only celebrate the out actor but also challenge those in hiring positions who may have preconceived notions about casting an LGBT actor.

“Glee” creator Ryan Murphy, a gay man, has emerged from this Newsweek debate as a role model for those in the industry to follow. He wrote that when casting his show, actors “are encouraged to read for all roles, no matter what their sexual orientation, color, or gender. Who cares who you are or who you sleep withfrankly, it’s none of our business or concern. The actor with the best audition should get the part.”

Unfortunately, not every showrunner is as committed to diversity. Murphy gets that it takes talent for any actor to make a character believable and that actors play roles quite different from themselves, otherwise it wouldn’t be actingand he has a hit show to prove it.

Our work is clearly not done, and our union will continue to fight to end fear within the acting community that being open about who you are means the end of your career. But it’s an uphill battle when some of our biggest detractors, like Setoodeh, are members of our own community.

Actor-comedian Jason Stuart is chair of the Screen Actors Guild National LGBT Actors Committee. He was most recently seen on “The Closer,” “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” “House,” and his own standup special “Jason Stuart: Making It to the Middle.”

Screen Actors Guild LGBT Committee

Dear SAG Members:

I am Jason Stuart, a SAG member since 1978. I have done over 80 films and TV shows. All I ever wanted to do was be a good actor, make a living and work with like minded people.

I am also a gay man. I came out on one of the popular talk shows in 1993 and started doing my stand up as an openly gay comedian and got a fair amount of success which made my acting career took off. I tell you all of this to let you know who I am and where I come from.

We started the first ever SAG LGBT Actors Caucus with the support of Duncan Crabtree-Ireland (SAG General Counsel), Ann Marie Johnson (National Board Member) and Sumi Haru (EEOC National Chair). We had a meeting in NY and became a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Actors Committee (Committee).

Our goal is to provide support to LGBT actors and to educate the membership, the industry, and the public on LGBT actors’ issues, with a focus on ending discrimination against LGBT actors in the workplace.

We have had several Committee meetings. We are in the process of changing the language in the union Constitution from sexual preference to sexual orientation and gender identity. We are working on meeting with GLAAD to include openly gay actors in their agenda and awards. We are in talks to make the process of obtaining health coverage in our plans equal to our straight actor counter parts. And lastly, we are joining OUTFEST as community collaborators. OUTFEST is in the process of having us sponsor a film and hopefully having an outreach party after. In addition, we will have a table at the event for actors to speak with us and become part of our Committee.

Please spread the news to other gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight allies to email us and get on the list for our future events and meetings. Let us know who you are by emailing LGBTActors@sag.org or calling (323) 549-6556.

Thank you.Jason Stuart

LGBT National Chair

FUNNY HURTS

By JASON STUART

All I ever wanted to do was act and do stand up comedy. Since I discovered that being gay was an issue to most folks one way or another, I feel compelled to take a stand when I see a group of my fellow human beings attacked. I was never the kind of man who could sit at a family dinner when a racist comment was made about any group. So if a racist joke were made, I would simply say, thats not ok with me. They would reply but youre not Black. Well, its still not cool or funny.

So, I was saddened and offended at the crudeness, the lewdness, the brazen racism expressed by Michael Richards unloading his rage. Surely most comics have the skills to handle hecklers or distractions, from a large group of friends gathered for a surprise party at a comedy club where alcohol is routinely served. This should come as no surprise to any comic, and our tactics should be playful, to engage, and win over the noisy fuckers. It’s part of our job.

To demean, an audience member with a vile, hateful diatribe, simply has no place in comedy. Its not even the word, its who says it on our cultural landscape, in what context it is said, and most importantly the intent behind it. Nonetheless, I side with Oprah and think the word has too much meaning to be used in a public setting.

It is time for us all to stand up for an internal audit. What are we capable of? How many Mel Gibson and Michael Richards moments have we witnessed in ourselves, both in and out of a comedy clubs?

As the NY Times stated on Dec. 3, For some, the most important lesson, one which may show some progress toward racial tolerance, is that it is the man who first hurled the racial insult who appears more damaged this time, not the target of his epithet. Mr. (Dick) Gregory said his son told him a joke the other day: What is worse than a white man calling a black man a nigger? Mr. Gregory said, quoting his son. Calling a white man Michael Richards. My hope is that Mr. Richards is able to turn this negative situation around and make it a positive by supporting the community with his celebrity. My hope is that then, hell no longer be the target of jokes, and all of us may be changed by the discussion his behavior ignited

I found myself in the lobby of the Laugh Factory after the news conference on November 27th and was asked to be of support to the owner Jamie Masada, who has had me work at his clubs for over 20 years as a headliner and always as an equal. After the press conference the New York Times asked me some questions. But the NY Times misquoted my words. So I wanted to set the record straight. LA Times Review What I said was that, about 25% of black comics have anti-gay material in their act and just as many or more white comedians do the same. What are we doing about that?” Nothing…. I spoke with Najee Ali, a civil rights activist and he responded by stating that he has been on the front lines to support all folks from prejudice.

So I turn to you, my community to start an enlarging dialogues on the social acceptability of gay-bashing. I ask the question where do we draw the line? The current all-important discourse on racist speak is vital. How can we as gay folks add to the crucial discourse centered now on racism? At a time when LGBTQ folks are scorned, do we not have to address the hate radiating from the Religious Right, and to all comics making us the butt of their homophobic fixations? We must ignite amongst Americans a desire to also dig deeper and address the hate. Most Americans have soul-searching to do in their comedy choices, on street corners, and middle school hallways, that are often not very funny either but painful to others.

I learned when I was 12 the word “fag” scraped on my locker with a nail. I saw it every day for 3 years in Jr. High School. I never said a word to a soul. It shredded my sense of who I was for almost 20 years, until I started speaking on college campuses on the power of being out in the workplace.

It is time for change and I for one intend to continue to be a part of it in my work and my life.

Jason Stuart is an actor & comic is currently featured in the film Coffee Date and has appeared in over 100 films and TV shows, including his groundbreaking role as Damons Wayans gay family therapist on ABCs, My Wife & Kids. Recently he was seen on George Lopez and House. He is one of the few openly gay men to headline mainstream comedy clubs & college campuses and was proud to host the Millennium March on Washington.

DATING

Question: I’ve been dating this guy I really like for 2 months, but he’s wanted to take it slow so far. But he just sent me a Valentine’s text message that floored me! I’m thrilled, but confused. Does “i luv u” mean “I love you,” or was he just being cute?

Answer: Ok, let’s come back to earth… Luv is the friendship love, not the Im in love with you love. He was not being cute, he was being clear. And lets be honest. Any guy who says he loves you in two months is rushing a bit. Love takes a long time. Love is showing up for you nomatter what, even when it’s hard or uncomfortable. Love is letting you go do a film on location because he knows you have been working your whole life to get this role and few months will not make a difference when you will be with him for your rest of your life. Love is spending time with your mother when she flirts with him and acts inappropriate. Well.. I guess I am taking about myself, but you know what I mean.

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Question:I am not a romantic but my partner is. Each year he makes a huge deal of Valentine’s Day. I love him, but to me it’s a Hallmark holiday created for straights. Is it asking too much to do what he wants one year and what I want the next? I really don’t want to hurt his feelings.

Answer: If you really love him, give him what he wants. Its a small thing. It maybe a hallmark kind of holiday to you. But to the man you love its real and an expression of your love from him. It shows that you are thinking of him at a time when the world is watching. Remember when all the kids would get

valentines in school and some of the girls sent one to a boy they liked. Well as gay folks we never got to have that moment. This is a time when you have the opportunity to step up the the plate for your man and make him feel equal and apart of the human race…god! now I sound like a hallmark card! Oh, just give him the valentine present. Make me happy, I mean him.

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Question:I have been dating a co-worker for three months and I’m definitely falling for him. Something devastating just had happened, however, that I need help with. Another co-worker told me to ask my boyfriend if he’s slept with anyone else in the company. I wasn’t going to ask, but my curiosity got the best of me. I was sickened and disappointed to learn that he’s slept with 7 staff members over the course of a year. He swears they were all just hookups and that ours is a relationship and I do believe him. But I now feel like I can’t trust him and frankly, my feelings about him have changed now that I know he’s known as the “company slut.” How do I handle this?

Answer: The first question I would ask of you… would be, Is he hot? If so, I bet you would not hang on to this guy “office boy” otherwise. Can I quote Teri Garr from “Tootsie”. My boy friends can treat me like shit, but my friends… something like that. I disagree. If you are in a relationship with a man who is sleeping with half the office. Its not gonna work. I know you like him , I know he’s hot and smart and cute and all that, and a bag of chips… But he’s a whore. And not the good honest kind, the lying whore kind. Drop him and email me. I bet your cute and I am looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right now. And your “office boy” is most likely doing Mr. Right now in the zerox room…

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I dated someone last year who winded up being a true blue sociopath (pathological lying, physically violent, etc.) The problem is he’s really hot and very charming — he even has a great job — so you don’t get to the “crazy” for a few months. When I broke up with him, I told him he needed psychological help and he agreed. I just found out he is now dating someone I don’t know that well, but someone whom I respect and admire. It pains me to think this person will likely experience the same trauma, and I feel like I should at least warn him — after all, I wish someone had warned me. I want to tell him, but I feel like it’s not my place, nor my business. On the other hand, I feel actual guilt at the prospect of *not* telling him. Help!

Get as far away from this guy as you can! I have always had soft side for the bad boys. It has been my downfall as a homosexual. If they look like they have been to prison, my old line was “call me” . But not real prison, “Oz” prison on HBO (Where they’re clean and hot). But now my new line is “you can be a bad boy in the bedroom but have to be a nice guy in real life”. Take care of yourself and treat yourself with respect. In terms of calling this guy who is dating your last bad boy… I say get on the phone and tell the “411″. Tell him in your experience this is what happened to you. Talk from “you” and don’t tell him what to do. We have to support our gay brothers any way we can to get the right man in our bed!

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Ive been dating my boyfriend for six weeks. He has had his eye on a thousand-dollar designer overcoat, and I want to get it for him. Is this really inappropriate?

No…no and noooooooooooo!!!!!!!. If you were David Geffen maybe. You have to look at what the message is when you give such an expensive gift. I myself would fall in love with you. But thats another story. And you better be a good kisser (As you all know thats a deal breaker for me). Think of what the message is! It’s that you have to pay for it. And that you think he will leave, so you need to buy him something to keep him. I know I am projecting. Any gift over $100.00 is inappropriate and even that is on the high side. This is someone new. When the sex is so great, that the endorphins are causing you (quoting my character Clayton, from COFFEE DATE), to think with your Jolly Rogers rather that your brain. It is very hard to find a good man and the Holidays bring up all sorts of issues . So take the coat back and buy him a book you love or some music that says what you feel about him or some films that changed your life. Anything personal. Oh …and again take the coat back!

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I was on a first date with a smart, together guy and it was going great — until near the end of dinner, when I started going off on how excited I am that the Democrats may gain seats in the upcoming election. Suddenly, my date got really quiet. Turns out he’s a Log Cabin Republican. I turned the conversation around and we had already agreed to make it an early night, so I’m not sure if he was really offended or not?

First, run for the hills. If he is gay and a republican he might as well slit his own wrists. There is something wrong with this guy if he need to be a part of a group of folks who do not want him as a member. Self esteem is really an important quality in a boyfriend. They also have to care about something other than themselves. I think not having compassion for your community is a deal breaker. If he says it’s just about money and makes under $200,000 a year and does not admit that there is no financial benefit for him. Cut him loose! Always remember there are two kinds of guys . The ones who you bring home to the family for the holidays who dont care if your mother wears a push-up bra at 69 and flirts with you even though she knows you’re gay and dating her son! And guys who are hot. Guys that do what they are told! And that you have great sex with who should not say any more than yes, sir.

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Gay.com’s dating advisors: Best and worst dates

This week, we turned the tables on our experts and asked them to spill the details on their own best and worst dates: The good, the bad, the sexy and the sleazy.

Best date … I feel like I’m still waiting. I met a guy at the gym last week, and he was hot hot hot! Puerto Rican, my age (and no, I am not telling you), and a teacher to boot. Teachers are the best — they change the world one mind at a time, and I hoping this one gets in my head. He was romantic, sweet and a great kisser. (Oops — did I tell you I kissed him on the first date?) He made me feel like I was handsome, and was so present. And to tell you the truth, I have not felt like that in a while. So, boys out there: When you connect with someone, don’t just kick him to the curb because you are scared of getting hurt. Don’t wait for him to call you. Pick up the phone and call him; ask him out. Sometimes it’s worth the risk of actually getting to know someone. I hope to get to know this guy. He is actually visiting his mother this week! When men care about their parents and are kind and generous in real life, and a bad boy in the bedroom — I’m in! They got me, and I will treat my man like a king (if he’s a good boy to his daddy, if you know what I mean). Wish me luck!

Worst date … There are so many, I don’t know where to start. I feel like I have been dating as far back as when Streisand did not tour! I guess one of the really bad dates was with a dark handsome man I met at a beer bust on a Sunday. We chatted and hit it off. He was very creative, had a great sexy smile, and there was a definite attraction. Also, a great kisser. (I see a theme here. I can’t help it: The kiss is what it’s all about for me. If that works, I can teach him the rest.) A week later, he called and asked me out. We set a date for dinner Friday night. I called him to confirm in the morning. We set a time of 7 pm, and I made a reservation at a romantic restaurant. He called at 6:30 to tell me he was stuck at a store an hour outside LA, returning some speakers. He suggested we reschedule, but I said, “Let’s just make the date an hour later.” He said he’d call me back; he never did. I called him the next day. He apologized and said he got to talking with his ex-boyfriend and lost track of time, and would I like to see him tonight? And then he told me I would have to call him back to see if he was available later. I said no: He would have to set a time now; otherwise, I was not interested in wasting another night waiting for him. He asked me why I was getting huffy. I said, “You canceled a date to go out with your ex-boyfriend — and told me about it! You should have at least lied and said you car broke down, or that someone shot you!”

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It seems I never know if I’m attracted to a guy until I kiss him. He can be cute or not so cute, build, ethnicity doesn’t matter I don’t really have a type, except we need “the spark” when we kiss. I would like to get this figured out on the first date. Other guys respond to looks or conversation and have it mostly decided by then, right? But I have found myself in a number of situations where I’ve liked a guy’s personality enough to end the date with a trial kiss — no spark. Most dating experts say the polite thing if you don’t want a second date is to say, “Goodbye, I had a very nice time, thank you.” If the other guy asks about a second date you say, “I think you’re great but I’m just not interested.” But coming right after a good-night kiss, I’m basically telling this guy he’s a bad kisser. Harsh! So do I have to go on more than one date and “fake it” to not hurt these guys’ feelings? I’ve tried doing that, because people say attraction can come a little late sometimes — but I swear, it’s the kiss. Help!?

Wow! I want your number! I am all about the kiss. But I have to admit I am a bit shallow, it’s also about looks. And the way he looks at you is also a plus. I like the way a guy moves. His hands and touch are also a turn on. But don’t get me wrong . Personality is important too. He has to have interests outside of sex. Not that I dont like sex but he has to care about the community and have a job he likes or is working on changing into a profession that makes him happy. And be smart. An unhappy boyfriend at work leads to failure. It’s so hard to meet gay men that you are attracted to, that I think when you do savor this man, treat him like a king or in my case a good boy to my Daddy. But be open . If he is not into the daddy thing. Be open to be his equal or… switching or ???? Wow, I guess I am talking about myself. I just want a good man too! But I have to agree, if the kiss does not work the man doesn’t work. And stop being so nice because you are afraid of hurting his feelings . Its really you that are uncomfortable. It’s best not to lead him along, just cut to the chase and say. I didn’t feel the spark… But thank you for a nice evening. And send me your picture cause a good kisser is hard to find!

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I’ve been dating this guy for a couple months, and it’s gotten pretty serious. But last weekend I was at a show, and the singer — the *famous* singer that I adore — ended up hitting on me! Well, of course we hooked up, and I told this to the guy I’m dating. (Who could resist telling that story?) To my astonishment this guy flew off the handle and got his feelings hurt. Doesn’t everyone have an ultimate top 10 list of people they should have permission to fool around with if they get the chance — and if not, shouldn’t he have told me that?

Well, looks like you are pushing the envelope and assuming way to much with this guy. Number one. You have to have a discussion with him and find out what is comfortable for both of you. To have had sex with this famous guy (who I am dying to know who it is!) and tell him afterwards, is not cool. If you are really serious about this man. You need to get on your knees and apologize to him for assuming that he would be OK about it. Cheating is cheating . Making agreements and respect is very important when it comes to building a trust in a new relationship. I know because men are whores and I am one of them! I have never cheated on a lover or boyfriend. But they have cheated on me and it hurts. But there can be agreements made IF you are upfront and honest. I hope he takes you back…

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Is it uncouth for us to mess around in the bathroom at a party, assuming there are other bathrooms for people to use? I ask because it has come up.

Well… I love the idea of having sex in the bathroom and meeting some hot guy and then he falls in love with me and we get married and finish each other sentences and cant keep our hands off each other and meet each other’s families and he loves me and I love him and we go to the movies together and laugh and cry at the same things and… That will never happen. I hate to be negative but when you meet a guy and have sex with him on the first date or the first time you meet him, my experience is that he does not call or want to get to know you. There are guys to date and get to know and guys to have sex with and I guess if it’s in the bathroom at a party make sure there is more than one as not to be interrupted so often.

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When do I disclose something that might scare a guy off? Should I wait until I get to know someone before telling him I plan to have children soon, or should I drop hints right off the bat? And if I’m waiting four or five dates until I tell a guy something so important to me, what is he waiting to tell me? What if he’s closeted, or has a different HIV status, or wants to be totally monogamous and I don’t? Is there a way to screen out incompatibility before getting serious — without destroying the romance?

If you scare off the guy he’s not that into you. If its HIV, you should tell him before you have sex. If its something like you parents are evangelical Christians, wait till they have to meet them. Honesty is very important to me. And so is trust. You have to feel you can tell the man you are going to lie down with the truth. And dont give me the crap, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. It was you who did not want to be uncomfortable. Wow, where did that burst of feeling come from? I guess I have been lied to and lead on and it does not feel good. Be straight with the guy but gay in the bedroom.

#95

Jason Stuart: I’m sitting here with my comedy pal Bob Smith at the trendy, eye-candy-packed Abbey having cocktails. We are having $9.00 apple martinis, really $10.00 ’cause I had to tip the hot waiter because I think he wants to have sex with me. And he’s certainly worth a dollar.

Bob Smith: He does not want to have sex with you.

JS: (ignoring him) I don’t usually drink but I wanted Bob to think I was really hip and I’m dieting and the apple is on my food plan, so what the hell, I had a good year. Bob and I are both standup comics. He has chosen to take the writer route and 1, the actor/catwalk wannabe path. He has written three books Growing Up Gay with his pals Jaffee Cohen and Danny McWilliams (Hyperion), Openly Bob and Way To Go Smith (Harper Collins). Bob is very sweet and mild-mannered, sort of a Clark-Kent type. His books have been so revealing that I’m almost embarrassed to see him in person sometimes because I feel I know just too much! We met in the early 90s when I was in the closet. You know how hard it is to get out of the closet with all those hatboxes and stuff in the way. It was at a bar called Daddy Warbucks where Bob and his pals, “Funny Gay Males,” were doing their comedy show. As far I can tell these guys were the first openly gay comics to make an impression in the hetero world of stand-up comedy. So as we’re drinking our NlNE-dollar apple martinis Bob noticed these two Abercrombie and Fitch clones wearing matching sweaters.

BS: They probably met last night and moved in together this morning.

JS: God, I hate them on sight! SO, now that you’re back in the dating world you seem to be doing quite well. I saw you at the Outfest closing party with a real hottie. This blonde and buff guy. Remember?

BS: Really, I don’t remember.

JS: You are so cool Mr. Kent. (Bob blushes.) So, let’s get to the issue at hand. This one is all about books. You have written three. I really admire people who can write.

BS: But you write too.

JS: Oh, not really. I just tell my feelings, tell some jokes and pray that the spell check works. I feel I don’t have as much control on the page as I do in my act.

BS: On the page you can rewrite it, fix it, edit it and make it your own.

JS: Yeah, but you went to college.

BS: It taught me how to learn and gave me structure. Why didn’t you go?

JS: I thought I was going to be a fucking star and didn’t need to know how to spell or use grammar. I would have my “Eve Harrington” for that. I recently decided to learn how to spell and use grammar.

BS: You have done real well as an actor. I see you on TV all the time.

JS: I am going to Provincetown this summer at Tropical Joe’s. You and your “Funny Gay Males” were there in the early ’90s and lead the path for everyone. SO, you got any advice?

BS: Work your ass off.

JS: What’s coming up in the future for you?

BS: I am writing a novel about a Hollywood guy who falls in love with a man from Alaska.

JS: I remember you told me you went to Alaska. Is this autobiographical?

BS: Well, we met fishing.

JS: Fishing! I bet your definition of tackle and his definition were not the same thing. We are so different. But our moms are sort of the same in a way. We both use them in our acts and they have given us a wealth of material.

BS: Well, last year my mom went to her first Passover dinner. Everyone was reading the prayers out loud which is tradition. She didn’t want to read aloud. She said, “some people are just show-offs!”

JS: Not mine, my mom was the first mom on the block with hot pants.

BS: I hear you are also writing a screenplay with Jason Ross who won best screenplay at Outfest a few years ago.

BS: It’s called Dirty Laundry. It’s about a gay son, daughter and grandmother who want their parents to get divorced.

JS: Sounds like my family!

BS: We’re almost done with it and will be shopping it around.

JS: Boy, I know how that is, I just finished recording my new comedy CD Gay Comedy Without A Dress available on my website www.jasonstuart.com. Plug, plug!!!

BS: Same old Jason always out there on the edge.

JS: Same old Bob. Let’s play the bill before we have to name our next house keeper after the waiter, I still think he’s looking at me.

BS: (Smiles.)

Issue #92

Journal an Openly Gay Actor

by Jason Stuart

Im sitting here with my best friend David Hamilton after coming homefrom a very relaxing weekend in Palm Springs visiting my mother Gloria. (You all know her, famous for her high heels on the beach and her leopard bathing suit.)

David Hamilton: Right, what about our little twirl at the Cathedral City Boys Club!

Jason Stuart: OK, moving right along! Last year I was lucky enough to get a guest shot on Will & Grace. You know gay actor, gay show, gay part! Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay! What could be better, right?! I was in heaven! I got the call from my manager Damon that they wanted to see me again at the last minute when David and I were on our way to a retreat.

DH: Tell the truth girl, it was the nude one!

JS: Well, I was trying to spread my boundaries. Since I have been working out and getting into great shape, I thought I could do it, but it really didn’t work for me. I just can’t eat naked. Anyway, I went in to read for the casting director and she sent me right to the producers, which doesn’t always happen. So, I walked into the office and read for Max Mutchnick and Jhoni Marchinko, the producers of the show, and Max has me read again and laughs. Then he stops me before I’m finished and says, “You’re funny!” I feel I’m in this exclusive gay club and could not be happier! So I try to let it go and I’m off to the retreat!

DH: Nude retreat!

JS: Whatever! And we are in my new Toyota Rav 4 car.

DH: Leased Toyota Rav 4.

JS: Jealous? So we’re driving maybe an hour and my manager calls to tell me I’ve got the job! And I’ll be starting tomorrow, Wednesday! So I will have to drive back and forth to Malibu so I will be able to go to the nude retreat with David. I’m a good friend, so I keep my commitments.

DH: Right, he was hardly there! And if that wasn’t enough, he had to go to his friend Alexandra Paul’s wedding Saturday with her drop-dead gorgeous husband lan while I had to be nude with a bunch of fat guys wanting to take my picture.

JS: Sorry. So my episode is where Jack (Sean Hayes) debuts his new show Jack 2000 at the Duplex, because Just Jack is dead to him now. I played “Stuart” the high strung manager of the club where he performs.

DH: Get a grip, you were almost completely cut out of the episode!

JS: Slap me when I’m down! I was in good company, they even cut (the talented) Margaret Cho after the first day. Then I had three scenes, then one scene, then two scenes. The writers keep moving all my lines around into different scenes trying to keep me in, which felt good. Then I’m down to one scene but I keep thinking who cares, it’s Will & Grace!” But at least I made it to tape day. Every day the staff of writers worked hard to make the script better and funnier. A different actor was banished out of the script daily. I felt like Richard Hatch on Survivor, but with bigger muscles!

DH: The conversation I am having in my head about your muscles is obviously not the same conversation you’re having in your head about your muscles.

JS: Look if they don’t pop out of a GQ magazine or they’re not pushing a shopping cart, you don’t want any part of them. I spent so much money on my trainer, I don’t have a house!

DH: Bitch!

JS: Whore! God, I love you. I was so nervous they were going to cut my part because actors were coming and going so quickly, I felt like I was Elizabeth Taylor at the Betty Ford Center. So, I brought David to the taping as a source of support but…

DH: I tried my best! You kept getting in the way of my view of Sean’s butt.

JS: For god’s sake, I introduced him to you on the set. What else do you want from me!

DH: Calm down Jason, show me on the doll where they touched you? They said you’re going to do another episode as soon as the right part comes along. I will have lost 25 pounds, you’ll introduce me to Sean again and I’ll pretend like I never met him before.

JS: You’re five steps away from your own private O.J. trial. Back to my journey, So during the taping, David’s hanging out with me. This was the first taping he had ever been to and had no idea how long it took.

DH: I was there so long I wanted to go on Prozac. I thought it would be an hour or two. I’m sitting in the audience and getting real hungry. So, I asked Jason to get me something to eat or I was gon-na faint. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

JS: Now I’m bringing him food from the craft services table, but-of course he didn’t like my choices because he was on a no- meat, no-dairy, no-sugar diet. (He’s almost a lesbian vegan!).

DH: I had to get in shape for Sean!

JS: You’re so Glenn Close! Here I’m guest starring on a major network sitcom and he wants me to find tofu!

DH: I was hungry!

JS: Guesting on this show the week after they won the Emmy for best sitcom was a high I will not forget. And it was a thrill to be a part of gay history. I’ve done a lot of the sitcoms this season and when a show is newer it takes even longer. So next time David, pack a lunch! Everybody can’t be Will & Grace.

Jason Stuart is an actor and comic ilving in Hollywood. To catch his appearances check out www.jasonstuart.com.

My dad once said to me, Why cant you just be gay and shut up about it? For years thats exactly what I didI believed that being gay was bad, that you shouldnt like gay people, and that if you were gay, then for Gods sake you should never tell anyone. All that has changed: On June 2, on Geraldo of all places, I came out as a gay actor-comedian. After years of anguish I finally got it together and told the world I was homosexualon TV yet.

For years all I had ever wanted was to be a good actor who was respected and able to make a living (OK, maybe a little bit more than a living). That picture never included being a gay man. I had never seen a gay person do that; ergo, it never occurred to me to stand up and be counted. When I was first starting out, my comedy style was often compared to that of Paul Lynde. Although he was a funny, talented actor, I felt stifled by the comparison because it seemed the industry couldnt get past his homosexuality to accept him in serious straight roles.

I want the opportunity to play straight roles without the industry worrying that Im too light in my loafers. Ive always been told I was funny and a good actor, but people would still stare in disbelief when I would read convincingly for a straight role. Years ago a casting director said to me, Jason, you cant play a doctor. No one would ever believe you could be a doctor. And I said, Well, what if I went to medical school? Then could I be a doctor? What are they going to say to me: Im sorry, you have the wrong haircut? At first I would get embarrassed by these remarks, then scared, then angry. Now Im out, and I just want to do good work. I have always wanted to connect with people who sit in the dark, but now its with a twist. This time theyll know that Im a gay man

Times are achangin. Publishers are giving money to authors to write books about gay life. Movie studios are doing gay-themed films, and Broadway is so gay that people wonder why there are no gay characters in Cats. Hollywood has given us no regular gay TV characters, only recurring characters on Roseanne, Melrose Place, and a few other shows. LA. Law and Dynasty have given us the every-other-year homosexualin even years theyre straight, in odd years theyre gay.

People say its hip to be gay now. They tell me that Im doing this as a hook for my standup act. Thats true, but its more than that. Its who I am. Its my life. As the industry can see, gay means money. The comedy dubs are using gay headliners like myself I recently did a gig at Stanfords Comedy House in Kansas City, Mo., and was picketed by the Moral Majority. The picketers were in turn picketed by my supporters. The show sold out all week, and on the first night I received applause for five minutes before I even spoke, not to mention a standing ovation at the end of the show. Acceptance in the Midwest!

Actor Ian McKellen (the only gay person ever to be knighted by a real queen) is out and an example for us all Comics Robin Tyler, Danny Williams, Kate Clinton, and Lea DeLaria all have large followings and are moneymakers. The Crying Game was nominated for an Academy Award for best picture, brought Jaye Davidson (who now appears in an ad for the Gap) a nomination, and made close to $60 million in this country alone, plus a nomination for Jaye Davidson. If the work is good and if the studios give us the same treatment they gave Arnold Schwarzenegger, we too can make $48 million on a film the critics dont like.

If you are Jewish and you change your name to hide that fact, what difference does it make if you become president? There are Jewish kids out there who still think that no Jewish person can be president. And if youre a gay actor and win an Oscar for your work, its for naught if youre publicly straight and add to the perception that the industrys highest accolades are reserved for heterosexuals. Ive waited long enough for power and respect. Im not waiting anymore, and Im not asking for less.

We have been a major force in showbiz for years. Imagine what it would have been like if everyone were out, providing us with role models as well as the self-respect and dignity that comes with knowing that others like you exist. It would have saved me from going to sleep every night when I was a child wishing that I wouldnt wake up. I want to let my younger gay brothers and sisters know that were not just a passing phase or hip for the moment. We are ready to eat at the dining-room table instead of sitting at a card table with our legs sticking out. Its almost 2000, and AIDS has made us grow up very quickly. This time were serious. We dont want to be just in the military, we want to be in the world.

Jason Stuart has appeared in Kindergarten Cop and on Murder, She Wrote and is developing a gay-themed sitcom.