Nov. 2007

Screen Actors Guild LGBT Committee

Dear SAG Members:
I am Jason Stuart, a SAG member since 1978. I have done over 80 films and TV shows. All I ever wanted to do was be a good actor, make a living and work with like minded people.

I am also a gay man. I came out on one of the popular talk shows in 1993 and started doing my stand up as an openly gay comedian and got a fair amount of success which made my acting career took off. I tell you all of this to let you know who I am and where I come from.

We started the first ever SAG LGBT Actors Caucus with the support of Duncan Crabtree-Ireland (SAG General Counsel), Ann Marie Johnson (National Board Member) and Sumi Haru (EEOC National Chair). We had a meeting in NY and became a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Actors Committee (Committee).

Our goal is to provide support to LGBT actors and to educate the membership, the industry, and the public on LGBT actors' issues, with a focus on ending discrimination against LGBT actors in the workplace.

We have had several Committee meetings. We are in the process of changing the language in the union Constitution from sexual preference to sexual orientation and gender identity. We are working on meeting with GLAAD to include openly gay actors in their agenda and awards. We are in talks to make the process of obtaining health coverage in our plans equal to our straight actor counter parts. And lastly, we are joining OUTFEST as community collaborators. OUTFEST is in the process of having us sponsor a film and hopefully having an outreach party after. In addition, we will have a table at the event for actors to speak with us and become part of our Committee.

Please spread the news to other gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight allies to email us and get on the list for our future events and meetings. Let us know who you are by emailing LGBTActors@sag.org or calling (323) 549-6556.

Thank you.Jason Stuart
LGBT National Chair

October 28, 2007

I am starting a new mini Biz to produce my own film! Gay & Fat Productions. I have always wanted to do the work I dreamed about. I am a movie nut and watch several a week. When I met my producing partner, Lisa Sanow, she wanted me to read a script she had written -- it was this action drama called "Putnam County Law." I thought she was some soccer mom, filmmaker wannabe. Then as I got to know her, she was this insane filmmaking machine, who had made many of her own shorts. She had done everything from directing films to being an extra. You want something written and she does it in a day! She sleeps 3 hours a night. So, no matter what I do, I am running to catch up to her. Oh, she's very bossy, but always respects a good idea.

Me, I just wanna act with really talented folks and play all kinds of roles. When you're gay or fat or different in some way, show biz folks will put you in a very small box where you can work. I don’t mind playing the gay guy roles as there are as many different kind of gay men as straight types. But how long can you wait for that great gay role to come up? So with Lisa, I've gotten to play a priest, a dad, a fussy post office assistant manager and film my first stand up special. We are gonna take over the world – one gay & fat person at a time!

December 7, 2006 - Hollywood, CA

“FUNNY HURTS”

By JASON STUART

All I ever wanted to do was act and do stand up comedy. Since I discovered that being gay was an issue to most folks one way or another, I feel compelled to take a stand when I see a group of my fellow human beings attacked. I was never the kind of man who could sit at a family dinner when a racist comment was made about any group. So if a racist joke were made, I would simply say, that’s not ok with me. They would reply but you’re not Black. Well, it’s still not cool or funny.

So, I was saddened and offended at the crudeness, the lewdness, the brazen racism expressed by Michael Richards unloading his rage. Surely most comics have the skills to handle hecklers or distractions, from a large group of friends gathered for a surprise party at a comedy club where alcohol is routinely served. This should come as no surprise to any comic, and our tactics should be playful, to engage, and win over the noisy fuckers. It's part of our job.

To demean, an audience member with a vile, hateful diatribe, simply has no place in comedy. It’s not even the word, it’s who says it on our cultural landscape, in what context it is said, and most importantly the intent behind it. Nonetheless, I side with Oprah and think the word has too much meaning to be used in a public setting.

It is time for us all to stand up for an internal audit. What are we capable of? How many Mel Gibson and Michael Richards’ moments have we witnessed in ourselves, both in and out of a comedy clubs?

As the NY Times stated on Dec. 3, “For some, the most important lesson, one which may show some progress toward racial tolerance, is that it is the man who first hurled the racial insult who appears more damaged this time, not the target of his epithet. Mr. (Dick) Gregory said his son told him a joke the other day: “What is worse than a white man calling a black man a nigger?” Mr. Gregory said, quoting his son. “Calling a white man Michael Richards.” My hope is that Mr. Richards is able to turn this negative situation around and make it a positive by supporting the community with his celebrity. My hope is that then, he’ll no longer be the target of jokes, and all of us may be changed by the discussion his behavior ignited

I found myself in the lobby of the Laugh Factory after the news conference on November 27th and was asked to be of support to the owner Jamie Masada, who has had me work at his clubs for over 20 years as a headliner and always as an equal. After the press conference the New York Times asked me some questions. But the NY Times misquoted my words. So I wanted to set the record straight. LA Times Review – What I said was that, “about 25% of black comics have anti-gay material in their act and just as many or more white comedians do the same. What are we doing about that?" Nothing.... I spoke with Najee Ali, a civil rights activist and he responded by stating that he has been on the front lines to support all folks from prejudice.

So I turn to you, my community to start an enlarging dialogues on the social acceptability of gay-bashing. I ask the question where do we draw the line? The current all-important discourse on racist speak is vital. How can we as gay folks add to the crucial discourse centered now on racism? At a time when LGBTQ folks are scorned, do we not have to address the hate radiating from the Religious Right, and to all comics making us the “butt” of their homophobic fixations? We must ignite amongst Americans a desire to also dig deeper and address the hate. Most Americans have soul-searching to do in their comedy choices, on street corners, and middle school hallways, that are often not very funny either but painful to others.

I learned when I was 12 the word "fag" scraped on my locker with a nail. I saw it every day for 3 years in Jr. High School. I never said a word to a soul. It shredded my sense of who I was for almost 20 years, until I started speaking on college campuses on the power of being out in the workplace.

It is time for change and I for one intend to continue to be a part of it in my work and my life.

Jason Stuart is an actor & comic is currently featured in the film “Coffee Date” and has appeared in over 100 films and TV shows, including his groundbreaking role as Damon’s Wayan’s gay family therapist on ABC’s, “My Wife & Kids”. Recently he was seen on “George Lopez” and “House”. He is one of the few openly gay men to headline mainstream comedy clubs & college campuses and was proud to host the Millennium March on Washington.

DATING updated 2/15/2007

Question: I've been dating this guy I really like for 2 months, but he's wanted to take it slow so far. But he just sent me a Valentine's text message that floored me! I'm thrilled, but confused. Does "i luv u" mean "I love you," or was he just being cute?

Answer: Ok, let's come back to earth... Luv is the friendship love, not the “I’m in love with you love”. He was not being cute, he was being clear. And lets be honest. Any guy who says he loves you in two months is rushing a bit. Love takes a long time. Love is showing up for you nomatter what, even when it's hard or uncomfortable. Love is letting you go do a film on location because he knows you have been working your whole life to get this role and few months will not make a difference when you will be with him for your rest of your life. Love is spending time with your mother when she flirts with him and acts inappropriate. Well.. I guess I am taking about myself, but you know what I mean.

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Question: I am not a romantic but my partner is. Each year he makes a huge deal of Valentine's Day. I love him, but to me it's a Hallmark holiday created for straights. Is it asking too much to do what he wants one year and what I want the next? I really don't want to hurt his feelings.

Answer: If you really love him, give him what he wants. Its a small thing. It maybe a hallmark kind of holiday to you. But to the man you love its real and an expression of your love from him. It shows that you are thinking of him at a time when the world is watching. Remember when all the kids would get
valentines in school and some of the girls sent one to a boy they liked. Well as gay folks we never got to have that moment. This is a time when you have the opportunity to step up the the plate for your man and make him feel equal and apart of the human race...god! now I sound like a hallmark card! Oh, just give him the valentine present. Make me happy, I mean him.

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Question: I have been dating a co-worker for three months and I'm definitely falling for him. Something devastating just had happened, however, that I need help with. Another co-worker told me to ask my boyfriend if he's slept with anyone else in the company. I wasn't going to ask, but my curiosity got the best of me. I was sickened and disappointed to learn that he's slept with 7 staff members over the course of a year. He swears they were all just hookups and that ours is a relationship and I do believe him. But I now feel like I can't trust him and frankly, my feelings about him have changed now that I know he's known as the "company slut." How do I handle this?

Answer: The first question I would ask of you... would be, Is he hot? If so, I bet you would not hang on to this guy "office boy" otherwise. Can I quote Teri Garr from "Tootsie". My boy friends can treat me like shit, but my friends... something like that. I disagree. If you are in a relationship with a man who is sleeping with half the office. Its not gonna work. I know you like him , I know he's hot and smart and cute and all that, and a bag of chips... But he's a whore. And not the good honest kind, the lying whore kind. Drop him and email me. I bet your cute and I am looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right now. And your "office boy" is most likely doing Mr. Right now in the zerox room...

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I dated someone last year who winded up being a true blue sociopath (pathological lying, physically violent, etc.) The problem is he's really hot and very charming -- he even has a great job -- so you don't get to the "crazy" for a few months. When I broke up with him, I told him he needed psychological help and he agreed. I just found out he is now dating someone I don't know that well, but someone whom I respect and admire. It pains me to think this person will likely experience the same trauma, and I feel like I should at least warn him -- after all, I wish someone had warned me. I want to tell him, but I feel like it's not my place, nor my business. On the other hand, I feel actual guilt at the prospect of *not* telling him. Help!
Get as far away from this guy as you can! I have always had soft side for the bad boys. It has been my downfall as a homosexual. If they look like they have been to prison, my old line was "call me" . But not real prison, "Oz" prison on HBO (Where they're clean and hot). But now my new line is "you can be a bad boy in the bedroom but have to be a nice guy in real life". Take care of yourself and treat yourself with respect. In terms of calling this guy who is dating your last bad boy... I say get on the phone and tell the "411". Tell him in your experience this is what happened to you. Talk from "you" and don't tell him what to do. We have to support our gay brothers any way we can to get the right man in our bed!

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I’ve been dating my boyfriend for six weeks. He has had his eye on a thousand-dollar designer overcoat, and I want to get it for him. Is this really inappropriate?
No...no and noooooooooooo!!!!!!!. If you were David Geffen maybe. You have to look at what the message is when you give such an expensive gift. I myself would fall in love with you. But that’s another story. And you better be a good kisser (As you all know that’s a deal breaker for me). Think of what the message is! It's that you have to pay for it. And that you think he will leave, so you need to buy him something to keep him. I know I am projecting. Any gift over $100.00 is inappropriate and even that is on the high side. This is someone new. When the sex is so great, that the endorphins are causing you (quoting my character “Clayton”, from COFFEE DATE), to think with your “Jolly Rogers” rather that your brain. It is very hard to find a good man and the Holidays bring up all sorts of issues . So take the coat back and buy him a book you love or some music that says what you feel about him or some films that changed your life. Anything personal. Oh ...and again take the coat back!

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I was on a first date with a smart, together guy and it was going great -- until near the end of dinner, when I started going off on how excited I am that the Democrats may gain seats in the upcoming election. Suddenly, my date got really quiet. Turns out he's a Log Cabin Republican. I turned the conversation around and we had already agreed to make it an early night, so I'm not sure if he was really offended or not?
First, run for the hills. If he is gay and a republican he might as well slit his own wrists. There is something wrong with this guy if he need to be a part of a group of folks who do not want him as a member. Self esteem is really an important quality in a boyfriend. They also have to care about something other than themselves. I think not having compassion for your community is a deal breaker. If he says it's just about money and makes under $200,000 a year and does not admit that there is no financial benefit for him. Cut him loose! Always remember there are two kinds of guys . The ones who you bring home to the family for the holidays who don’t care if your mother wears a push-up bra at 69 and flirts with you even though she knows you're gay and dating her son! And guys who are hot. Guys that do what they are told! And that you have great sex with who should not say any more than “yes, sir”.

Gay.com's dating advisors: Best and worst dates
This week, we turned the tables on our experts and asked them to spill the details on their own best and worst dates: The good, the bad, the sexy and the sleazy.

Best date ... I feel like I'm still waiting. I met a guy at the gym last week, and he was hot hot hot! Puerto Rican, my age (and no, I am not telling you), and a teacher to boot. Teachers are the best -- they change the world one mind at a time, and I hoping this one gets in my head. He was romantic, sweet and a great kisser. (Oops -- did I tell you I kissed him on the first date?) He made me feel like I was handsome, and was so present. And to tell you the truth, I have not felt like that in a while. So, boys out there: When you connect with someone, don't just kick him to the curb because you are scared of getting hurt. Don't wait for him to call you. Pick up the phone and call him; ask him out. Sometimes it's worth the risk of actually getting to know someone. I hope to get to know this guy. He is actually visiting his mother this week! When men care about their parents and are kind and generous in real life, and a bad boy in the bedroom -- I'm in! They got me, and I will treat my man like a king (if he's a good boy to his daddy, if you know what I mean). Wish me luck!

Worst date ... There are so many, I don't know where to start. I feel like I have been dating as far back as when Streisand did not tour! I guess one of the really bad dates was with a dark handsome man I met at a beer bust on a Sunday. We chatted and hit it off. He was very creative, had a great sexy smile, and there was a definite attraction. Also, a great kisser. (I see a theme here. I can't help it: The kiss is what it's all about for me. If that works, I can teach him the rest.) A week later, he called and asked me out. We set a date for dinner Friday night. I called him to confirm in the morning. We set a time of 7 pm, and I made a reservation at a romantic restaurant. He called at 6:30 to tell me he was stuck at a store an hour outside LA, returning some speakers. He suggested we reschedule, but I said, "Let's just make the date an hour later." He said he'd call me back; he never did. I called him the next day. He apologized and said he got to talking with his ex-boyfriend and lost track of time, and would I like to see him tonight? And then he told me I would have to call him back to see if he was available later. I said no: He would have to set a time now; otherwise, I was not interested in wasting another night waiting for him. He asked me why I was getting huffy. I said, "You canceled a date to go out with your ex-boyfriend -- and told me about it! You should have at least lied and said you car broke down, or that someone shot you!"

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It seems I never know if I'm attracted to a guy until I kiss him. He can be cute or not so cute, build, ethnicity doesn't matter … I don't really have a type, except we need "the spark" when we kiss. I would like to get this figured out on the first date. Other guys respond to looks or conversation and have it mostly decided by then, right? But I have found myself in a number of situations where I've liked a guy's personality enough to end the date with a trial kiss -- no spark. Most dating experts say the polite thing if you don't want a second date is to say, "Goodbye, I had a very nice time, thank you." If the other guy asks about a second date you say, "I think you're great but I'm just not interested." But coming right after a good-night kiss, I'm basically telling this guy he's a bad kisser. Harsh! So do I have to go on more than one date and "fake it" to not hurt these guys' feelings? I've tried doing that, because people say attraction can come a little late sometimes -- but I swear, it's the kiss. Help!?
Wow! I want your number! I am all about the kiss. But I have to admit I am a bit shallow, it's also about looks. And the way he looks at you is also a plus. I like the way a guy moves. His hands and touch are also a turn on. But don't get me wrong . Personality is important too. He has to have interests outside of sex. Not that I don’t like sex but he has to care about the community and have a job he likes or is working on changing into a profession that makes him happy. And be smart. An unhappy boyfriend at work leads to failure. It's so hard to meet gay men that you are attracted to, that I think when you do savor this man, treat him like a king or in my case a good boy to my Daddy. But be open . If he is not into the daddy thing. Be open to be his equal or... switching or ???? Wow, I guess I am talking about myself. I just want a good man too! But I have to agree, if the kiss does not work the man doesn't work. And stop being so nice because you are afraid of hurting his feelings . It’s really you that are uncomfortable. It's best not to lead him along, just cut to the chase and say. “I didn't feel the spark... But thank you for a nice evening”. And send me your picture cause a good kisser is hard to find!

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I've been dating this guy for a couple months, and it's gotten pretty serious. But last weekend I was at a show, and the singer -- the *famous* singer that I adore -- ended up hitting on me! Well, of course we hooked up, and I told this to the guy I'm dating. (Who could resist telling that story?) To my astonishment this guy flew off the handle and got his feelings hurt. Doesn't everyone have an ultimate top 10 list of people they should have permission to fool around with if they get the chance -- and if not, shouldn't he have told me that?
Well, looks like you are pushing the envelope and assuming way to much with this guy. Number one. You have to have a discussion with him and find out what is comfortable for both of you. To have had sex with this “famous” guy (who I am dying to know who it is!) and tell him afterwards, is not cool. If you are really serious about this man. You need to get on your knees and apologize to him for assuming that he would be OK about it. Cheating is cheating . Making agreements and respect is very important when it comes to building a trust in a new relationship. I know because men are whores and I am one of them! I have never cheated on a lover or boyfriend. But they have cheated on me and it hurts. But there can be agreements made IF you are upfront and honest. I hope he takes you back...

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Is it uncouth for us to mess around in the bathroom at a party, assuming there are other bathrooms for people to use? I ask because it has come up.
Well... I love the idea of having sex in the bathroom and meeting some hot guy and then he falls in love with me and we get married and finish each other sentences and can’t keep our hands off each other and meet each other's families and he loves me and I love him and we go to the movies together and laugh and cry at the same things and... That will never happen. I hate to be negative but when you meet a guy and have sex with him on the first date or the first time you meet him, my experience is that he does not call or want to get to know you. There are guys to date and get to know and guys to have sex with and I guess if it's in the bathroom at a party make sure there is more than one as not to be interrupted so often.

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When do I disclose something that might scare a guy off? Should I wait until I get to know someone before telling him I plan to have children soon, or should I drop hints right off the bat? And if I'm waiting four or five dates until I tell a guy something so important to me, what is he waiting to tell me? What if he's closeted, or has a different HIV status, or wants to be totally monogamous and I don't? Is there a way to screen out incompatibility before getting serious -- without destroying the romance?
If you scare off the guy he's not that into you. If its HIV, you should tell him before you have sex. If its something like you parents are evangelical Christian’s, wait till they have to meet them. Honesty is very important to me. And so is trust. You have to feel you can tell the man you are going to lie down with the truth. And don’t give me the crap, “I didn't want to hurt his feelings”. It was you who did not want to be uncomfortable. Wow, where did that burst of feeling come from? I guess I have been lied to and lead on and it does not feel good. Be straight with the guy but gay in the bedroom.

August 2001, #95

Jason Stuart: I'm sitting here with my comedy pal Bob Smith at the trendy, eye-candy-packed Abbey having cocktails. We are having $9.00 apple martinis, really $10.00 'cause I had to tip the hot waiter because I think he wants to have sex with me. And he's certainly worth a dollar.

Bob Smith: He does not want to have sex with you.

JS: (ignoring him) I don't usually drink but I wanted Bob to think I was really hip and I'm dieting and the apple is on my food plan, so what the hell, I had a good year. Bob and I are both standup comics. He has chosen to take the writer route and 1, the actor/catwalk wannabe path. He has written three books Growing Up Gay with his pals Jaffee Cohen and Danny McWilliams (Hyperion), Openly Bob and Way To Go Smith (Harper Collins). Bob is very sweet and mild-mannered, sort of a Clark-Kent type. His books have been so revealing that I'm almost embarrassed to see him in person sometimes because I feel I know just too much! We met in the early 90s when I was in the closet. You know how hard it is to get out of the closet with all those hatboxes and stuff in the way. It was at a bar called Daddy Warbucks where Bob and his pals, "Funny Gay Males," were doing their comedy show. As far I can tell these guys were the first openly gay comics to make an impression in the hetero world of stand-up comedy. So as we're drinking our NlNE-dollar apple martinis Bob noticed these two Abercrombie and Fitch clones wearing matching sweaters.

BS: They probably met last night and moved in together this morning.

JS: God, I hate them on sight! SO, now that you're back in the dating world you seem to be doing quite well. I saw you at the Outfest closing party with a real hottie. This blonde and buff guy. Remember?

BS: Really, I don't remember.

JS: You are so cool Mr. Kent. (Bob blushes.) So, let's get to the issue at hand. This one is all about books. You have written three. I really admire people who can write.

BS: But you write too.

JS: Oh, not really. I just tell my feelings, tell some jokes and pray that the spell check works. I feel I don't have as much control on the page as I do in my act.

BS: On the page you can rewrite it, fix it, edit it and make it your own.

JS: Yeah, but you went to college.

BS: It taught me how to learn and gave me structure. Why didn't you go?

JS: I thought I was going to be a fucking star and didn't need to know how to spell or use grammar. I would have my "Eve Harrington" for that. I recently decided to learn how to spell and use grammar.

BS: You have done real well as an actor. I see you on TV all the time.

JS: I am going to Provincetown this summer at Tropical Joe's. You and your "Funny Gay Males" were there in the early '90s and lead the path for everyone. SO, you got any advice?

BS: Work your ass off.

JS: What's coming up in the future for you?

BS: I am writing a novel about a Hollywood guy who falls in love with a man from Alaska.

JS: I remember you told me you went to Alaska. Is this autobiographical?

BS: Well, we met fishing.

JS: Fishing! I bet your definition of tackle and his definition were not the same thing. We are so different. But our moms are sort of the same in a way. We both use them in our acts and they have given us a wealth of material.

BS: Well, last year my mom went to her first Passover dinner. Everyone was reading the prayers out loud which is tradition. She didn't want to read aloud. She said, "some people are just show-offs!"

JS: Not mine, my mom was the first mom on the block with hot pants.

BS: I hear you are also writing a screenplay with Jason Ross who won best screenplay at Outfest a few years ago.

BS: It's called Dirty Laundry. It's about a gay son, daughter and grandmother who want their parents to get divorced.

JS: Sounds like my family!

BS: We're almost done with it and will be shopping it around.

JS: Boy, I know how that is, I just finished recording my new comedy CD Gay Comedy Without A Dress available on my website www.jasonstuart.com. Plug, plug!!!

BS: Same old Jason always out there on the edge.

JS: Same old Bob. Let's play the bill before we have to name our next house keeper after the waiter, I still think he's looking at me.

BS: (Smiles.)

May 2001, Issue #92

Journal an Openly Gay Actor
by Jason Stuart

I’m sitting here with my best friend David Hamilton after coming homefrom a very relaxing weekend in Palm Springs visiting my mother Gloria. (You all know her, famous for her high heels on the beach and her leopard bathing suit.)

David Hamilton: Right, what about our little twirl at the Cathedral City Boys Club!

Jason Stuart: OK, moving right along! Last year I was lucky enough to get a guest shot on Will & Grace. You know gay actor, gay show, gay part! Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay! What could be better, right?! I was in heaven! I got the call from my manager Damon that they wanted to see me again at the last minute when David and I were on our way to a retreat.

DH: Tell the truth girl, it was the nude one!

JS: Well, I was trying to spread my boundaries. Since I have been working out and getting into great shape, I thought I could do it, but it really didn't work for me. I just can't eat naked. Anyway, I went in to read for the casting director and she sent me right to the producers, which doesn't always happen. So, I walked into the office and read for Max Mutchnick and Jhoni Marchinko, the producers of the show, and Max has me read again and laughs. Then he stops me before I'm finished and says, "You're funny!" I feel I'm in this exclusive gay club and could not be happier! So I try to let it go and I'm off to the retreat!

DH: Nude retreat!

JS: Whatever! And we are in my new Toyota Rav 4 car.

DH: Leased Toyota Rav 4.

JS: Jealous? So we're driving maybe an hour and my manager calls to tell me I've got the job! And I'll be starting tomorrow, Wednesday! So I will have to drive back and forth to Malibu so I will be able to go to the nude retreat with David. I'm a good friend, so I keep my commitments.

DH: Right, he was hardly there! And if that wasn't enough, he had to go to his friend Alexandra Paul's wedding Saturday with her drop-dead gorgeous husband lan while I had to be nude with a bunch of fat guys wanting to take my picture.

JS: Sorry. So my episode is where Jack (Sean Hayes) debuts his new show Jack 2000 at the Duplex, because Just Jack is dead to him now. I played "Stuart" the high strung manager of the club where he performs.

DH: Get a grip, you were almost completely cut out of the episode!

JS: Slap me when I'm down! I was in good company, they even cut (the talented) Margaret Cho after the first day. Then I had three scenes, then one scene, then two scenes. The writers keep moving all my lines around into different scenes trying to keep me in, which felt good. Then I'm down to one scene but I keep thinking who cares, it's Will & Grace!" But at least I made it to tape day. Every day the staff of writers worked hard to make the script better and funnier. A different actor was banished out of the script daily. I felt like Richard Hatch on Survivor, but with bigger muscles!

DH: The conversation I am having in my head about your muscles is obviously not the same conversation you're having in your head about your muscles.

JS: Look if they don't pop out of a GQ magazine or they're not pushing a shopping cart, you don't want any part of them. I spent so much money on my trainer, I don't have a house!

DH: Bitch!

JS: Whore! God, I love you. I was so nervous they were going to cut my part because actors were coming and going so quickly, I felt like I was Elizabeth Taylor at the Betty Ford Center. So, I brought David to the taping as a source of support but...

DH: I tried my best! You kept getting in the way of my view of Sean's butt.

JS: For god's sake, I introduced him to you on the set. What else do you want from me!

DH: Calm down Jason, show me on the doll where they touched you? They said you're going to do another episode as soon as the right part comes along. I will have lost 25 pounds, you'll introduce me to Sean again and I'll pretend like I never met him before.

JS: You're five steps away from your own private O.J. trial. Back to my journey, So during the taping, David's hanging out with me. This was the first taping he had ever been to and had no idea how long it took.

DH: I was there so long I wanted to go on Prozac. I thought it would be an hour or two. I'm sitting in the audience and getting real hungry. So, I asked Jason to get me something to eat or I was gon-na faint. I hadn't eaten since breakfast.

JS: Now I'm bringing him food from the craft services table, but-of course he didn't like my choices because he was on a no- meat, no-dairy, no-sugar diet. (He's almost a lesbian vegan!).

DH: I had to get in shape for Sean!

JS: You're so Glenn Close! Here I'm guest starring on a major network sitcom and he wants me to find tofu!

DH: I was hungry!

JS: Guesting on this show the week after they won the Emmy for best sitcom was a high I will not forget. And it was a thrill to be a part of gay history. I've done a lot of the sitcoms this season and when a show is newer it takes even longer. So next time David, pack a lunch! Everybody can't be Will & Grace.

Jason Stuart is an actor and comic ilving in Hollywood. To catch his appearances check out www.jasonstuart.com.

1993


My dad once said to me, “Why can’t you just be gay and shut up about it?” For years that’s exactly what I did—I believed that being gay was bad, that you shouldn’t like gay people, and that if you were gay, then for God’s sake you should never tell anyone. All that has changed: On June 2, on Geraldo of all places, I came out as a gay actor-comedian. After years of anguish I finally got it together and told the world I was homosexual—on TV yet.

For years all I had ever wanted was to be a good actor who was respected and able to make a living (OK, maybe a little bit more than a living). That picture never included being a gay man. I had never seen a gay person do that; ergo, it never occurred to me to stand up and be counted. When I was first starting out, my comedy style was often compared to that of Paul Lynde. Although he was a funny, talented actor, I felt stifled by the comparison because it seemed the industry couldn’t get past his homosexuality to accept him in serious straight roles.

I want the opportunity to play straight roles without the industry worrying that I’m too light in my loafers. I’ve always been told I was funny and a good actor, but people would still stare in disbelief when I would read convincingly for a straight role. Years ago a casting director said to me, “Jason, you can’t play a doctor. No one would ever believe you could be a doctor.” And I said, “Well, what if I went to medical school? Then could I be a doctor? What are they going to say to me: ‘I’m sorry, you have the wrong haircut’?” At first I would get embarrassed by these remarks, then scared, then angry. Now I’m out, and I just want to do good work. I have always wanted to connect with people who sit in the dark, but now it’s with a twist. This time they’ll know that I’m a gay man

Times are achangin’. Publishers are giving money to authors to write books about gay life. Movie studios are doing gay-themed films, and Broadway is so gay that people wonder why there are no gay characters in Cats. Hollywood has given us no regular gay TV characters, only recurring characters on Roseanne, Melrose Place, and a few other shows. LA. Law and Dynasty have given us the every-other-year homosexual—in even years they’re straight, in odd years they’re gay.

People say it’s hip to be gay now. They tell me that I’m doing this as a hook for my standup act. That’s true, but it’s more than that. It’s who I am. It’s my life. As the industry can see, gay means money. The comedy dubs are using gay headliners like myself I recently did a gig at Stanford’s Comedy House in Kansas City, Mo., and was picketed by the Moral Majority. The picketers were in turn picketed by my supporters. The show sold out all week, and on the first night I received applause for five minutes before I even spoke, not to mention a standing ovation at the end of the show. Acceptance in the Midwest!

Actor Ian McKellen (the only gay person ever to be knighted by a real queen) is out and an example for us all Comics Robin Tyler, Danny Williams, Kate Clinton, and Lea DeLaria all have large followings and are moneymakers. The Crying Game was nominated for an Academy Award for best picture, brought Jaye Davidson (who now appears in an ad for the Gap) a nomination, and made close to $60 million in this country alone, plus a nomination for Jaye Davidson. If the work is good and if the studios give us the same treatment they gave Arnold Schwarzenegger, we too can make $48 million on a film the critics don’t like.

If you are Jewish and you change your name to hide that fact, what difference does it make if you become president? There are Jewish kids out there who still think that no Jewish person can be president. And if you’re a gay actor and win an Oscar for your work, it’s for naught if you’re publicly straight and add to the perception that the industry’s highest accolades are reserved for heterosexuals. I’ve waited long enough for power and respect. I’m not waiting anymore, and I’m not asking for less.

We have been a major force in showbiz for years. Imagine what it would have been like if everyone were out, providing us with role models as well as the self-respect and dignity that comes with knowing that others like you exist. It would have saved me from going to sleep every night when I was a child wishing that I wouldn’t wake up. I want to let my younger gay brothers and sisters know that we’re not just a passing phase or hip for the moment. We are ready to eat at the dining-room table instead of sitting at a card table with our legs sticking out. It’s almost 2000, and AIDS has made us grow up very quickly. This time we’re serious. We don’t want to be just in the military, we want to be in the world.

Jason Stuart has appeared in Kindergarten Cop and on Murder, She Wrote and is developing a gay-themed sitcom.

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